We go “undercover” with C.S.I’s Jorja Fox. By which we mean we dress her in crazy getups and ask her silly questions. It’s our m.o.!

Silver Lake, California, 3:19 on a sunny afternoon at the dog park, about a softball pitch away from downtown L.A.: I was scheduled to meet Jorja Fox at 3 P.M. and follow her around with a tape recorder while she walked her dogs. Just when I start to think, This sucks, I see a sprightly, tank-topped, ponytailed woman come bounding through the gates. It’s her Jorja Fox! And I was just beginning to feel like a creep sitting in this place without a dog. “I’m so sorry I’m late! You must have felt like a creep sitting in this place alone without a dog”, she says. “No problem”, I say. After stints on ER and The West Wing, Jorja Fox is now riding high atop the crest of the hit CBS series CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. And with a role in last year’s indie-film sensation Memento, the lovely Ms. Fox is proving that she’s a lucky charm of sorts - or at least something I’d like to have draped around my neck. On CSI she plays a scientist who must find the answers to many bizarre and often sordid questions. I decided to turn the tables on her. It’s funny seeing her there - you know, under the table.

STUFF: Your character on CSI knows a thing or two about crime scenes. What sort of things should we watch out for if we murdered someone and didn’t want to be linked to the crime? Theoretically, of course.

JORJA: Well, I definitely think you should not murder anyone, under any circumstances - ever!

STUFF: It’s a little late for that right now.

JORJA: I would say call the paramedics first then call the cops. If you can’t do that, then just cover your entire body in latex and get rid of the corpse and you’ll probably get away with it.

STUFF: How should I get rid of the body?

JORJA: A piranha fish tank is my personal pick.

STUFF: When a director asks you to be angry, do you think of the time the neighborhood bully threw your pet turtle down a well.

JORJA: Anger is very easy for me. The hardest thing a director could ever ask me to do is cry. That’s when I become super-actory. I have to go in a corner and psyche myself up for it. I think I’m kind of an angry person. Anger is something I identify with. For better or worse.

STUFF: What’s the strangest outfit you like to put on when nobody else is home?

JORJA: Well, my friend who works for the city left his uniform at my house one night and didn’t come back, so I tried on this whole weird sort of construction thing with a tool belt. That’s pretty kinky.

STUFF: Let’s say I showed up at your house on a typical Sunday morning, flashed my badge and dusted the headboard of your bed for fingerprints. How many different sets would I find?

JORJA: Fingers and toes?. Probably only five or six right now.

STUFF: That’s a big headboard.

JORJA: I sleep on the floor, by the way.

STUFF: In preparation for the weekend, have you ever stolen a set of handcuffs or rubber gloves from the set?

JORJA: Rubber gloves always comes in handy. I don’t use handcuffs on the show, but there’s probably a set in my house.

STUFF: When someone creepy sidles up to you at a bar, how do you get rid of him?

JORJA: It doesn’t really happen to me. I might have that weird-radar, because people who talk to me are almost never creepy. I’m really lucky that way. You’ve gotta wonder what kind of vibe you’re putting out there if you’re having really creepy people come talk to you.

STUFF: What’s the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard that used your last name?

JORJA: Maybe, “I’m feeling very sly, and I know ‘cause you’re a Fox that you’d want to make it with me”.

STUFF: I don’t even get it. How do you respond to something like that?

JORJA: If I have a drink in my hand, sometimes it accidentally falls in the direction of the person. If somebody’s nice enough to come up to me and be interested in me, it’s almost always a really cool thing. Unless they’re really gross about it. I haven’t gone home with anybody who tried to pick me up in a long time.

STUFF: Would you say you’re crazy like a fox, or is your last name nothing but a lie?

JORJA: Until I was 14 years old, I was really fat - I was obese. And I have this gap between my teeth. At that time, it was twice the size - you could put a quarter through it - and I had freckles. My mom bought FOXY GIRL T-shirts - which were big, sort of, in the 70’s - for every day of the week, and I had to wear one every day. It was kind of brutal. It was very difficult to live up to that. The whole “foxy” thing is funny, because for most of my life it was so not true. It was like a reverse joke. But, yeah, I’m crazy. I’m totally crazy. It’s true. All of my family members are crazy, too. There’s a lot in a name.

STUFF: What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever gotten stuck in that gap between your front teeth?

JORJA: I’d have to say rocks. A couple of rocks, I was camping, it was dark, I was caught up in the moment and I got some rocks in my teeth.

STUFF: Rocks. Your face was in the dirt?

JORJA: Gently, but yes.

STUFF: What are some of your vices, besides the cigarette you’re smoking right now?

JORJA: Ha! Well, I stay up really late, I drink coffee and alcohol and I like to be bad. Bad! But I don’t have so many vices.

STUFF: What kind of drink could I buy you?

JORJA: A beer. I would really be impressed. A bottle of beer. Nice beer - a microbrew. No glass. Amber is my favorite.

STUFF: You play guitar: Have you ever gone to a store and tried out a new guitar by playing “Stairway to Heaven”?

JORJA: No, but I do know how to play “Stairway to Heaven”. I’ve seen people do that. Once or twice I’ve even taken them outside and let them know that it’s probably not all that cool.

STUFF: You’re a self-described liberal. Will you use your fame to save the world?

JORJA: Wow! I would sure love to try.

STUFF: Where would you start?

JORJA: Honestly? Two places: the environment, to be very serious, and sex.

STUFF: Sex.

JORJA: I think “Make love, not war” might be the most profound statement that’s ever been made. If people were spending more time having sex, they’d be a lot less inclined to be violent.

STUFF: Thanks.

JORJA: You’re not going to ask me what my favorite dildo is or something?