[…]

12.34pm: “I’ll see your five-a-side football with Andy McCluskey and raise you five-a-sides with all the members of Teenage Fanclub followed by a few light refreshments in the bar afterwards,” writes Chris Black. Nice try, Chris, but you’re sunk now. I’ll see your footie with Scotland’s answer to the Beach Boys and raise you putting Johnny Vegas to bed after a session “and” asking Jorja Fox who plays Sara Sidle in CSI out for a drink. It’s not as glam as it sounds - he was unconscious and she said no.

[…]

12.49pm: “Re : Jorja Fox from CSI not going out with you. That’s a great tale,” writes Graeme McPherson. “I never could decide if she was attractive or not. That gap in her teeth was always a bit disconcerting. Was she better looking in real life?” She’s not bad at all, Graeme, though truth be told, I’d have preferred to have met Marg Helgenberger/Catherine Willows out if she’d been there.

[…]

1.10pm: “I would be amazed if Jorja Fox had accepted your offer of a drink, considering she has a female partner,” writes Paul Napper, going some way towards explaining the successful Hollywood actress’s otherwise mystifying decision to repel my ham-fisted advances. That said, I only asked her out for a drink - I wasn’t asking her to move in with me.

[…]

1.16pm: “OK, I’ll see your Vegas/Fox doubleheader and raise you with my failed attempts to cop off with three young ladies at a BBC party about 13 years ago,” writes Dave Newsome. It turned out they were the about-to-be-reunited three members of Bananarama. Whether my failed amatory exploits in any way influenced their career choice I cannot say. Are no interesting deals going to be done today and will we all be reduced to childish one-upmanship?" Looks like we’ll have to settle for childish one-upmanship at the moment, Dave. What’s more, you’re winning you lucky sod. I’d much rather not pull Bananarama than not pull Jorja Fox.

[…]