In the end, ‘CSI: Crime Scene Investigation’ died as it lived: fun, flabby, and altogether too invested in the undying love of two deeply sexless characters.

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Though Petersen’s return for the series finale gave the show a badly needed jolt of original ‘CSI’ magic, it also meant that the love story of Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle returned to center stage.

Sidle, played by Jorja Fox, was another of the show’s originating characters. She initially was Grissom’s subordinate but eventually became friend, lover, wife, estranged wife, ex-wife - in the most uninteresting ways possible. Fox and Petersen always existed within the show’s universe without an ounce of chemistry, so when the series opted to make the two its ‘one true pairing,’ it went all in on the show’s least interesting relationship.

Sadly, there was plenty of Grissom-and-Sidle relationship drama in the finale, as we quickly learn that the two have divorced and it becomes clear, when Grissom returns to Las Vegas to help investigate a string of suicide bombings, that they are still in love with each other. It’s this misguided commitment to its own worst tendencies that made ‘Immortality, Parts 1 and 2’ such a fitting sendoff for ‘CSI.’

Though the show finally had the luminous Helgenberger back as Catherine Willows, it trapped her in a one-dimensional storyline that underlined how the series only knew how to view the character through the fact that she was a mother.

Even worse than the investment in Grissom and Sidle is the fact that the show brought back Lady Heather, a popular recurring character, played by Melinda Clarke, who had a deep and complex relationship with Grissom, who, despite having the entire plot seemingly revolve around her, functions only as a red herring, only useful to drive Sidle and Grissom back together.

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But perhaps the most egregious misstep the finale makes is in its conclusion when, after finally taking over as CSI director, Sidle leaves the career she’s built to wander around the oceans with Grissom. True love is one thing; it’s two people meeting in the middle and each giving ground so they can find a place where they can each thrive. But that’s not what ‘CSI’ does. It breaks Sara’s back and sends her on her way, and the implication is clear: If her relationship only works by following Grissom to the ends of the Earth, then her true calling is following Grissom to the ends of the Earth.

It’s a weird and contrary message, the opposite of what love is, and, in a way, the perfect summation of a relationship that never really worked. Sidle and Grissom sail off into the sunset, something the show believes is a happy ending but reality makes less clear.

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